Today Oliver was taken to what humans casually call “a stationery store.”

A harmless little shop, right?

❌ Wrong.

It had EIGHT FLOORS.

Eight.

He counted them twice, just in case someone was playing a prank.

Oliver’s official statement:

“This isn’t a store.

This is a skyscraper filled with temptation, chaos, and overpriced pens.”

🧸  Phase 1 — Shock

On Floor 1, Oliver just stood there blinking at the directory sign like:

“Excuse me… EIGHT?? Why do humans need that many floors to write things down? Are you preparing for an apocalypse made entirely of paper?”

He was overwhelmed.

And a little offended.

Mostly offended.

🧸  Phase 2 — Career Aspirations

Then he spotted the plush giraffe.

A plush giraffe… with a very long neck… and very little personality.

Oliver stared at it for a long time with the expression of someone evaluating a potential coworker and not being impressed.

“Honestly, I would look AMAZING on this shelf.

And I have more brain cells than this giraffe.

I should apply.”

He then positioned himself among other designer items to “see how it feels.”

Answer: It felt right.

He briefly planned his new career as Japan’s most stylish stationery-store employee.

🧸 Phase 3 — Absolute Trauma

But then…

He saw it.

A bear-shaped fur mat.

A flat, furry, suspiciously bear-like… rug.

Oliver froze.

“NOPE. NO. Shut it down. Shut it all down!

I refuse to be associated with any business that displays the flattened remains of my distant cousins!!”

He marched off (as much as a 6-inch plush bear can march), declaring the store emotionally unsafe.

🧸 Phase 4 — Final Conclusion

Oliver decided he will not be working in an 8-floor stationery store after all.

“Great pens, lovely bookmarks, creepy rugs.

I’m done.”

He returned home exhausted but proud that he stood firmly for his plush rights.